InDOGuration

There is a lot of chatter going on at the park and the coffee shop about the “InDOGuration” coming up in a few days.  Nobody is talking about much else.  Everyone seems pretty passionate about this event.  Some people are excited and others seem to be mad about it.  I am trying to figure this out.  So, it seems whenever there is a new President, a whole bunch of dogs come to Washington.  They have to bring their owners, too, because most dogs can’t drive and aren’t allowed on the airplane unless they get registered as a service animal.  It’s apparently not that hard, though, because I heard about a turkey and a goose riding on the airplane because they were there for emotional support.  Nonetheless, the owner still had to come along.  It’s kind of ridiculous, but that’s the way it is.

Dogs and their people are starting to arrive in town already.  Hotels are booked and the prices have tripled.  I saw on TV last night that the luxury suite at a hotel near the White House, with his and her bathrooms, cost $85,000 a night!  I hope, at that price, the dog gets her own bed, with a goose down comforter that she is allowed to shred.  My brother’s friend is staying at our house because he is an unpaid intern here to cover the events and can’t afford a fancy hotel.  I think it’s great:  he has really nice leather shoes that I am waiting to get a chance to steal.

There are also going to be several balls.  Some guy at the park said there were going to only be three balls for President Trump.  I think that’s pretty shameful, and probably “fake news”.  This guy claims to be super rich and a HUGE success; surely he can afford to buy more than 3 balls.  I, myself, have around 6 balls.  3 or them even still squeak.  It could be total chaos if thousands of dogs come to welcome this guy and they are all fighting over 3 balls.  I’m just saying…

There is also going to be a parade.  I really like parades.  There are a bunch of kids with loud instruments and white flappy things on their shoes for me to chase.  I also think I would like to chase a couple of clowns.  I also hope the guys with the little felt hats are there riding their tiny tiny motorcycles or cars.  I could totally jump on top of one of them and catch a ride!

The other big event is going to be on Saturday.  Apparently, thousands, or hundreds of thousands of women are coming to march.  I think they know they are going to miss the InDOGuration, but don’t really care.  In fact, I think they are coming because they are NOT happy about the new President.  I think it has something to do with a cat…  Anyway, all these women are going to go together on a really long walk through Washington.  That sounds just like my kind of thing — lots of women walking and talking and being supportive of the sisterhood!  For some reason, they want us all to wear pantsuits.  I don’t really look good in pants.  I think I will wear my Elsa dress instead.

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